change

I realise im the one that is getting to comfortable which each other .
I feel special and im thankful and bless for everything single thing that i want to let everyone that i had such a bf that did so much for me.

Looking back , i realise i am the one that is not putting effort in maintaining or make any progress in this relationship.


From the smallest thing of care. I was not there when i am suppose to be there to takecare of you.
I was suppose to takecare of you when u r sick... and get u food when u r unwell.

For ur care , u did every single thing to my comfort , to my liking and happiness and what i have done?

I did nothing. I feel im such a failure.

I didnt contribute much , probably nag and nag and did nothing at all to be of any help.

So damn useless .

Everything u did to make us stay together , make the effort from knowing and meeting and put in effort to meet my friends n family , my parent to even my dog to impress them.

From what i did , just years and months of hiding.

I cant even do the basic care and do the basic thing and make the basic effort , to make u happy.

Im just so selfish.

Im sorry , i wanna be a good gf for you. I really hope i can. Give me some time, i will be , i be there for u , to be there when u want or need me...

I wasnt even there to see u play soccer when u wan me to be there to see u and want to show me how great u r. But i didnt.

But when i needed you to be there to certain event , to gathering , cny , to meet group and individual strangers , you did. You do it for me.

I know my mistakes  , i shouldn't be running away.

The basic support i didnt give u , im sorry i m jsut not the confident girl that u can show to ur friends.
Im afraid they will judge me but i didnt care about yr feeling..

You are still the mr nice guy, the one that love me so much and more and change for me but im still being selfish. Thank you for staying and thank you for accepting me because i am really not of someone that deserve someone that treat me so well. The one that holds us together from the start , the one that pull us closer and keep us together and always making me happy and always cheer me and giving me advices. I didnt regret meeting u .

I will change for the better for you  , for us.

Dont stop fighting for yourself , dont stop fighting for us.

Love you always.
Xoxo