6 more working days till my tw trip with C.
First trip with my best friend , hopefully it goes well.

feeling a little emotional lately, getting too attached to someone then suddenly the person is not around, as in physically around ..................... i need to learn to be more independent. i can live with it. i'm wondering if the spark can still be created or it might just die off , i still don't feel that i'm the priority, because there are times that i don't feel that way.. maybe just thinking too much.

Things that i shouldn't get affected , i shouldn't be . But i'm still am feeling abit fuzzy.
Why the person got the happiness when the person suppose to be living miserably.........
Probably just hate, the hate still existed just a little and i know i am not suppose to curse and swear so much but i just hope one day that person will taste it own medicine. The worst time in my life happen because of that person and why is good thing happening? it ruin my studies, it ruin my results, it ruin my health , it just ruin so badly and why am i suffering during that period and that person could be happily living the life? isn't it too unfair? is my past life owing that person so much?!!!

trying hard to not going anywhere or spent because of the upcoming trip and this month onwards i would need to start repaying the study loan for poly. totally hate the idea of loan.
i wish i have 7k to repay everything fully though.

Starting from April would need to start saving to repay the loan, to save up for university.
Wanted to enroll this year for full time degree and i guess i would need to postpone till next year.
I need to make it happen next year, can't postpone it any further.

Should be blessed if i were healthy and safe and happy, i wanna migrate so much.