i miss you

I miss you so much.
the moment i saw ur photo that you are smiling widely .
the photo was taken a few days before u were gone if i never reply wrong.
i still rmb every since you were discharged mum cook the meal , since you injure ur legs i help you to prepare ur dinner. The soup was potato with carrot n pork , fried french beans with egg n rice or potato with minced pork. I still rmb how much i love to prepare the rice like those ppl put the rice for chicken rice. I lay the different dishes nicely around the rice.
Everything was going well, i was playing game on my nitendo gameboy advance , you were watching tv. It time for supplement n medication, the pill was huge an i ask if i need to cut for u into smaller pieces . You say its alright. You  had ur medication with the metal cup i still rmb. You were happily watching tv . Mum and bro was out to chalet , aunt n cousin wasin the living room. I cant rmb where is dad.  grand pa was in living room too. Everything went on so smoothly. For two nights , every time u need to use the toilet i have to help u walk slowly in . When u sit down i have to bring a stool and help u lift ur legs up so u can get comfortable. The same thing when u bath. I rmb i dont mind it at all, i nv whine , nv grumble because i want u to be well again.  Suddenly , you start to breathe v hard , u told me to pass u water , i ask if u r ok , u said u r fine. But no, u were even breathing harder , i went to find aunt n grandpa , they ask u to lie down , on the aircon, open the door wide , i ran to the next blk clinic n ask for the doctor, he came n he gave u medicine. He told us to call ambulance. But 20mins that fucking ambulance has nt come. I ran out and ask the neighbour for help. We ran all the way out , afraid that the ambulance couldnt find it way. Everyone try to direct them in. They came , she was brought to the hospital , she insisted on going sgh but they sent her to nuh. Wtf i really hate nuh idk cus my other grandparent pass away there.... we all travel down to a&e and called all the relatives , we waited outside for very long. I was praying so hard that you were fine. The pass two night , u kept ask me what happen if u die. I said i want ur tummy even if u die. I wanna hug it and lie on it cus it so sofr n warm. It makes me feel secure. You said if u die , you will leave for me...  so i can be happy .i miss talking to  u at night , i miss hugging you , i miss your smell , i miss how u teach me how to cook , i miss the braised duck that u made , duck wings especially , no onecan beat that. I miss how u bring me out when i want , buy me all the snacks n candy i love. I miss how i went to ur room n ask u to sleep next to you. I miss how funny when i saw u sneak back to ur room after u ensure me n bro was asleep. Thank you for taking care of me when mum n dad n bro was out staying in france. Thank you for teaching me how to cook when i was just 8.thank you for teaxhing me how to identify all kinds of vegetables by asking me to buy certain type of vege all by myself. Thank you for loving me n doting on me so much cus i was the only girl and oldest among all ur grand children. It been 10 years. Ao much has changed after u r gone. Im sorry that i didnt do well for my o lvl and even for my diploma , i didnt do well. U left without seeing me graduate from my primary sch , my secondary sch , my poly. I wish u r here with me still. I am willing to exchange you for u to be here alive for anything at all. I love you grandma , i miss you so much.